The Breakers Chapter 9 Pic Tease and Teaser

"Shit! Edward, breathe. Come on. Breathe in and out. Slowly now," he tells me and I get the sense that he's breathing with me but I can't be sure. My own panting and gasping is all I can hear until my vision clears and I'm able to take a deep, albeit shaky, breath.

"What … the fuck … was that?" I say on a jagged breath and rub my chest hoping it will help.

He chuckles a bit while he pats me on the back and then takes his seat once more when it seems like I'm going to survive whatever the fuck just happened to me.

"Carlisle?" I manage to pant, relief coursing through me when the vise squeezing my chest loosens enough so I can take a deep breath.

The frown on his face, the dip between his eyebrows, and the slump of his shoulders lets me know that what he's about to tell me … I'm not going to want to hear.

Sighing he says softly, regretfully, "You just had a panic attack."

I'm shaking my head before the sentence is even fully out of his mouth. "What? No fucking way, Carlisle."

"Yes way. It's not surprising to be honest. I've been worried about this ever since you went to dinner at Bella's. I haven't been able to talk to you because you've been working so hard this week and so tired by the time you get home, but I could tell that things were building. I'd hoped to have a chance to help you before this happened," he said sadly.

"I just … hell, Carlisle … every time I think I have my head above water I just get pulled under again," I mutter, throwing my head back and staring up at the ceiling.

The feelings of helplessness and just abject fear hit me hard, like a sucker punch to the jaw from Mike Tyson and I pinch my eyes closed, hoping to stem the onslaught.

"What's going on? Talk to me, Edward." He's got that doctor voice thing going on again but instead of it pissing me off like before, this time it just makes me want to spill my guts.

So I do.

He listens as I spew, bouncing from one thing to the other. I know I'm not making the least damn bit of sense, but he never moves, never interrupts. He doesn't comment except for a frown or a narrowing of eyes when I say something that either angers or saddens him, but he just lets me keep going.

I tell him everything.