~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
Chapter 22
EPOV
"Edward, please wake up," I hear Bella say, though it sounds like it's from miles away.
I try to move, but the weight of what feels like wet sand presses me down. I can't really move and my body aches all over. I try to open my eyes but the first attempt only winds up with me hissing and muttering a sharp "God damn it" because the white hot poker of pain that flares behind my eyeballs takes my breath away.
Groaning, I think a harsh, fuck, that hurts, and squeeze my eyes to try to keep the pain at bay. The squeezing does little more than make bright white starbursts explode behind my eyelids but along with that comes a rush of hazy, disjointed images.
Water.
Darkness.
Icy water.
Bella.
Icy water everywhere.
Peyton.
A whole lot of fucking icy water, so cold it burns.
After that, an onslaught of pictures flies through my mind and I remember what happened. Vague memories of the way I lost my balance; the sound of Emmett's terrified voice; Charlie screaming at me from the wheelhouse; the feel of the rope through my heavy gloves.
Through it all though, there was always Bella and Peyton.
I feel Bella rub my hand between hers, the tender way she traces over the scrapes and scars. Even though I want nothing more than to fall back asleep and give in to the dark that swirls at the back of my mind, I know I need to tell her one thing, especially when I hear her say, "Open your eyes, baby. Please wake up."
Her voice trembles and is laced with worry and fear and love.
I struggle to open my eyes and slowly move my head from side to side. I hear myself groan again, but the promise I made to her before I left sounds loudly in my mind. With all the strength I can muster, I force my eyes open. My vision blurs and then comes into focus and when it does, all I can see is her.
"I kept my promise," I rasp as the words stick to my shredded throat.
As soon as the words are out, her tears fall in a torrent. Her shoulders shake, her chest heaves, but she doesn't look anywhere but into my eyes.
She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life, the thing that brought me back from the icy water.
"Oh, God! Edward!" she cries as her hands flutter and move above me.
She lays her hand along my cheek and the warmth from her skin seeps into mine, chasing away the slight chill I still feel deep in my bones. I shiver uncontrollably which causes her to gasp and then look at me with wide, watery eyes.
"Are you cold? Let me get the nurse."
"Baby," I manage to spit out. My throat ignites, and I swallow hoping it helps but all it does is make the pain intensify. "Fuck." I close my eyes, tempted to keep them that way but knowing Bella's beside me makes me open them again. It feels like for-fucking-ever since I've seen her.
With a start I realize I have no idea what day it is or even if I'm okay.
My eyes dart wildly around the room and my breaths start coming out in short, choppy puffs of air. Suddenly, my chest hurts, there's a sharp, shooting pain right in my temple, and my body feels like it's been used as a punching bag. I hurt everywhere.
"Shhh. Edward, shhh," she tells me as she leans over the bed. Her fingers run through my hair and the movement calms me like nothing else can. "Let me tell the nurse you're awake, okay?" she asks quietly, slowly and her eyes search mine. Taking a deep, but hesitant breath, I nod.
I lay my head back on the thin, lumpy pillow and close my eyes, unable to keep them open. The visions from before bloom, though they're still as disjointed as before. My head throbs and the sounds of the machines in the room seem extraordinarily loud. Gingerly I try to move my fingers and toes, sighing deeply in relief when they all move. I have no idea why I test them or why I think I need to, but before I can ruminate on it, the door swishes open and a parade of people come through it.
Nurses check the readouts beside me and Bella follows a short, almost bald man dressed in blue scrubs and wearing a white lab coat on top of it. "Mr. Masen, it's good to see you awake. You gave us quite a scare," he says amiably.
Bella slips around him and reaches out for my hand, gripping it tightly.
Her anxiety is palpable; it's in every breath she takes and in every move she makes. I still don't know what's happened to me, but at this moment, it's not important. She is. I'm slowly remembering bits and pieces and as I put them together, all I can think about is the hell she must have gone through.
"Bella," I murmur, slightly frantic as more pieces come together.
I curl my hand. Her slender fingers are tightly ensconced in mine and I turn to look at her. She smiles and the knot in my chest loosens and I feel myself calm almost immediately.
"It's okay, Edward. You're fine, I'm fine, and we'll make it through this," she whispers, not caring that the room is full of other people.
I open my mouth, wanting to say so much but not able to force even one word out.
The doctor clears his throat, intruding on our moment. "Well, yes, Mr. Masen," he begins professionally. "As Ms. Swan just stated, you are going to be just fine. You suffered moderate to extreme hypothermia, but the quick-thinking of your fellow deckhands prevented your injuries from being any more severe. From all accounts, you were submerged in the water for approximately seven minutes before you were pulled onto the boat. You were unconscious and your pulse rate was dangerously low. Your co-workers did what they could to warm your body up and were able to keep you from going into shock. You were very lucky. If they hadn't been able to do that, the outcome might have been very different."
I don't even want to think about what the exact meaning of different is; I remember all too vividly what it came close to being. Too fucking close.
"You suffered a blow to the head which from the statements we've gotten from Emmett and Jasper is what caused you to go overboard," he states and looks at me expectantly.
I wrack my brain, muddling through the foggy thoughts until I find the one I'm searching for. I groan, remembering the icicle that fell from the stack of traps and hit me on the head. I reach up without realizing and rub my forehead, wincing when I touch the gauze that covers the wound. "Damn icicle nailed me right in the head. I lost my balance when I bent over from the pain and then slid on the ice on the deck. One minute I was standing on the boat, the next I was in the fucking water," I trail off, shivering as I remember the biting sting of the water.
Bella's hand tightens around mine and I can hear her take big gulps of air as she tries to keep herself under control. I watch her while the doctor presses a stethoscope to my back. I jump from the chill of the cool metal, but I can't take my eyes off Bella. I want to be alone with her. I want, I need, to make sure she's okay. I can't even imagine what the last however long it's been since the accident has been like for her. She looks okay, but I know my girl. She's barely holding on. I can tell by the way she's gnawing on her bottom lip and the way her free hand keeps making circles on her thigh.
"Well, your lungs sound good all things considered. You won't have any permanent damage to your extremities and the head wound, while ugly and painful, will heal. You're going to have a pretty bad headache for a few days and your body is going to be sore as all get out, but in a few weeks you should be good as new," the doctor informs me in a matter-of-fact voice as he makes a few notations on my chart. "Do you have any questions for me?"
I only have about a million but my mind won't cooperate with me and stay focused on any one thing long enough to put a coherent sentence together. Bella takes over though, and in a shaky but determined voice she asks, "So there isn't any permanent damage to his hands or anything? No brain damage? He can go back to work?" She struggles with the last word, choking on it as she forces it out of her mouth like it's physically painful to say it.
If the doctor notices her difficulty, he doesn't let on and merely nods his head. He smiles at her like it's going to soothe her worry when I know it's going to do anything but. "Yes, Ms. Swan. He'll be perfectly fine to go back to work in a few weeks once his body has a chance to recuperate. Being in the water like he was, for even that short of a time period, is extremely taxing to the body. It's a good thing Mr. Masen is in such good shape physically; it will make his recovery that much quicker and get him back on the water in no time," he tells her with a smile and a pat on the knee.
In normal circumstances, his news would be welcome, would be cause for relief and tears of thanks and happiness, but other than finding out I won't have any permanent damage, nothing he's told Bella will put her mind … or her heart at ease.
The effort it's taken just to sit up and interact with the doctor takes its toll on me and all of the sudden I'm exhausted, but there are things I need to know. My heart races as I think about Peyton. About Emmett and Jasper and Charlie and wonder if they made in safely. I need to make sure Bella is okay.
The monitor I'm hooked up to starts to go haywire as my heart rate spikes. I'm urged to lay down, a suggestion I eagerly follow. Finally, the doctor seems satisfied when the annoying beeps are somewhat more evenly spaced out, he leaves with a promise to be back in the morning to check on me again.
Once he's gone, the questions I need to ask come flying out of my mouth. "Are you okay, Bella? Is Peyton? Where is she? Did your dad and the guys make it back okay? How long have I been here?" I ask and gasp for breath. I feel like I'm covered in sweat one second, and the next, I'm shivering like I won't ever be warm again.
The poor excuse for a mattress dips as Bella puts one knee on it and then stretches out over my body. Her hands hold my cheeks, and she kisses me over and over again, whispering, "I love you, Edward. It's okay. Shhh, just take a deep breath and relax." A few minutes pass as we just stare into each other's eyes. I can feel her vibrate above me and I wrap my arms around her. I want to hold her tightly, but my muscles won't cooperate with me. I let out a frustrated huff and then groan when she scoots off me and into the chair beside the bed.
She reaches a hand out and weaves her fingers with mine.
"I'm fine, now that I know you will be. Peyton is with Lucy. Dad and the guys made it in safe and sound. Um … you've been here for about eight hours or so I guess … I don't even know what time it is, " she says wearily and her shoulders slump as if she can't hold them up any longer.
"Oh, baby," I rasp. My throat is on fire and just swallowing hurts like a motherfucker.
"Let me get you some water," she says softly and then picks up a cup off the table. I close my eyes as I listen to her moving around the room as she fills the cup with ice then water. "Can you sit up a little?" she asks. She slides a hand underneath me and helps me sit up. She hands me the cup and I smile when I see the straw as well. I take a few tentative sips, groaning when the cool water relieves the burn in my throat.
I hand her the cup when I've had enough and then flop back onto the pillow, already frustrated as hell at feeling so incapacitated. I try to open my eyes, but my eyelids feel like they weigh a thousand pounds a piece. I want to talk to Bella, I want to ask about Peyton, but I'm so damned tired. I feel Bella move the blankets around on top of me then I sigh when her fingers run through my hair.
"Feels good," I mumble, barely awake.
"I love you so much, Edward," she whispers. She kisses each of my eyelids then both cheeks before she brushes her lips across mine.
The warmth from her lips spreads through me, and I stop fighting and let sleep claim me, but not before I tell her, "I love you, too. You saved me, baby. You and Peyton."
The last thing I hear before succumbing to the darkness is the sound of her crying softly and her saying, "Thank you," over and over again.
The next morning is a flurry of activity. Tests and more tests to make sure I'm recovering the way I'm supposed to. I'm moved from the ICU into a private room since I'm out of danger. Thank goodness the hospital is small and relatively quiet. I know under normal circumstances Bella never would have been able to stay the night with me in ICU, but that's one of the benefits of small town living I suppose.
"You know once you get situated in your room, you're going to be bombarded right?" Bella asks as she walks beside me. I feel like a fucking freak show being wheeled down the hallway toward the elevator but I'm certainly not going to complain. Things could be be much different right now, I know.
I swallow thickly and then nod at her. Quietly I ask, "They're all still here?"
She nods and then runs the backs of her fingers down the side of my cheek as the door to the elevator shuts. "Of course, Edward. They all saw you while you were still in ICU but you were still unconscious. There hasn't been any time between last night and this morning for anyone to visit. Once I found out you were going to be moved, Ali and Rose went to buy you some clothes and stuff and the others had breakfast. They're all very anxious to see you."
I hang my head and close my eyes. I can feel my eyes burn beneath my eyelids. My stomach churns and I feel like I'm going to hyperventilate as I think about Rose and Ali buying me clothes or Charlie and Carlisle pacing in a waiting room waiting for word on my condition. I picture Esme and Renée holding hands as they whisper back and forth to each other. I can see Emmett and Jasper sprawled out in those horrid plastic chairs, eyes focused on the door just waiting to pounce on the doctor when he walks through the door. Seth and Xavier would be huddled together, sitting as close as possible, neither one saying a word but not needing to. My friends, my family … and I came so fucking close to losing them all.
Jesus Christ.
I shake as we roll toward the door to my new room. Bella lays her hand on my shoulder; I know she can tell I'm about to lose it. It helps to feel the warmth of her skin through the thin cotton hospital gown I have on, but it's not going to stop the emotions that are bubbling beneath the surface. Things have been so hectic since I woke up. I haven't really had a chance to process everything that happened. I feel like total shit when I realize I haven't thought about anyone else either. Once I opened my eyes and saw Bella, she was all I could think about. I've barely been able to keep my eyes open for any length of time but now that the worst is over, according to the doctor at least, nothing is stopping it all from overwhelming me, much like the waves that threatened to drag me under not too long ago.
"Okay, now, Edward, let's get you all situated and then lunch will be here before too long," the orderly that helped me to my room says happily, completely oblivious to the meltdown that is only moments away from happening.
It doesn't take long to get me back into bed, though the simple movements leave me drained and panting for breath. "Holy shit," I mutter as my new nurse walks in.
"It's going to take some time to get your strength back," she tells me as she sticks a thermometer under my tongue.
I feel horrible. I can hardly keep my eyes open, the gash on my head throbs, and every muscle in my body feels like it's been stretched and twisted in ways that shouldn't be humanly possible. My eyes track Bella as she moves around the room, looking everywhere but at me.
"I'll be right back with your medicine," the nurse says. There's a soft swishing sound as she briskly walks out of the room on practically silent feet.
I close my eyes as my heart thunders in my chest. To me the sound is deafening, and I clench my jaw and curl my fingers into tight fists as I take a few deep breaths. A panic attack looms large on the horizon if I can't get myself under control; I can feel the telltale tightening in my chest with every inhale and exhale.
"Breathe, Edward," Bella whispers and places a gentle kiss on my lips. "I'm here, and you're safe. Just breathe, babe."
After I take a few more deep breaths and the prickling feeling all over recedes just a bit, I crack my eye open and grin at her. "Babe, huh?" I tease.
She giggles and it's about the best damn sound I've ever heard in my life. Immediately I feel lighter, though I know as soon as the nurse comes in and gives me my medicine then leaves the two of us alone again, everything will come rushing back.
Sure enough, once I swallow the tiny Dixie cup full of water with whatever pill she dropped in the palm of my hand, the tremors start again. Subtle at first, but as soon as Bella sits down on the bed beside me, I lose it.
Huge wracking sobs escape and I feel Bella pull me up into her arms. "I've got you, shhh, Edward. It's okay now," she tells me though she's crying every bit as hard as I am.
"Oh God, baby. Are you okay? I can't even imagine ... I'm so sorry ... I can't believe I put you through this … and Peyton. She must be so scared. She's not mad at me is she?" My words are a jumbled mess. I'm not sure she can even make sense of what I'm saying.
She wraps her arms around me and squeezes with all she has. Her entire body trembles and though I'm the one sitting with my ass hanging out of a hospital gown, she's more important right now. After losing Evan, yesterday must have been an absolute nightmare for her. The fact that she's held it together this long makes me so fucking proud of her.
She's fucking amazing.
"I was so scared," she stammers out between gasps of breath. Her forehead is pressed against mine and our eyes are locked on the other's.
I gulp. "Me, too," I admit, and shake as the sense of being swallowed by icy, churning water assails me.
She presses her head even harder against mine at my admission and I see her swallow a few times before she's able to say anything else. "I almost lost you." Her body sags against mine and I use what little strength I have to hold her tightly against me. It's not close enough. I want to wrap my entire body around hers and never move.
"But you didn't," I answer her and hold her face in my hands. I brush my thumbs under her eyes and wipe her tears away. Even with splotchy cheeks and a red nose, she's still the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen and my heart fills with so much love for her I can hardly breathe.
Now that I'm awake, now that I've had time to process what happened and what could have happened if Em and Jasper hadn't gotten me out of the water so fast, I feel like the luckiest man alive. They saved my life. How do I even begin to deal with that? How do I thank them? How do I go back out there and risk putting Bella and Peyton through this again?
Before either one of us can say anything else there's a soft knock on the door and when I look up, my room fills with everyone.
Alice is first, pushing Charlie and Renée out of the way as she rushes forward. "Oh my God, Edward! You scared us all so bad!" she cries and throws her arms awkwardly around me. Bella is still sitting next to me on the bed because she didn't have time to get out of the way before Alice attacked me and I'm trying to hold my gown closed so I don't flash everyone.
"Sorry, Ali," I mutter and look at Bella pleading for help with my eyes.
Effortlessly, she disentangles Alice from my neck and helps get me situated on the bed so that I don't embarrass myself. As soon as she steps back, I'm overrun by Esme and Renée.
"Edward, dear, we were so worried," Esme tells me as she cups my cheeks.
Renée is on my other side and she squeezes my hand and waits for me to turn and look at her. "Don't scare us like that again, you hear me?"
"Yes ma'am," I answer.
All the attention is uncomfortable. All these months later and I'm still not used to being touched and hugged and kissed on by anyone but Bella and Peyton, but as much as it makes me cringe, I soak it up because I know that I'm as important to these people as they are to me.
"How are you feeling, son?" Charlie asks once Renée kisses my cheek and then steps back to let him get closer.
I smirk and huff. "Like my ass was just pulled out of the ocean."
He chuckles and then winces when Renée slaps him on the arm for laughing at me. "Well, you sure look a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you. Glad to see some color back in those cheeks."
"If Ali and Rose don't give him the clothes they bought, we're all liable to see his other cheeks, too," Seth deadpans. Everyone, including me, laughs at that and the tension in the crowded room lessens immediately.
I visit with Xavier and Seth for a few minutes, thanking them both profusely for taking such good care of Bella and for driving her to the hospital.
"We're just really glad you're okay, man," Xavier tells me as he punches my arm lightly.
I glance at Bella as she talks with Alice, Rose, and Jasper in the corner and then glance back and forth between Seth and Xavier. "Was it really hard on her?" I ask. I have to know, and I know that they'll be honest with me.
"She was so fucking strong, Ed," Xavier tells me on a sigh. He closes his eyes for a moment and I know he's remembering when Evan died. "She's so much stronger than any of us give her credit for, you know? All she could think about was getting to you. She didn't freak out, she didn't shut down, she just made arrangements for Peyton and we came straight here. Even in the waiting room, even when the doctor told her you were unconscious, she held firm to the belief you'd be okay."
"Have you talked to Peyton? Is she okay? I know she must be worried," I mutter softly.
"P's fine, Edward. She can't wait to see you and she's worried no one is taking good enough care of you, but she seems to be handling things as well as she can. You know her; she's just like her mama. Strong and stubborn. Once she sees you though, you might have a hard time prying yourself away from her." Seth laughs and I can't help but agree.
I'm quiet for a few seconds then say honestly, "I don't think I'd mind that a whole lot."
Seth and Xavier leave after another few minutes to head back to Corea. I hug and kiss Rose and thank her and Alice for being so considerate. I can't wait to get this fucking gown off and into some real clothes. I keep my eyes on Bella and notice the shadows beneath her eyes. She's exhausted but her eyes find mine as often as mine are on hers.
"How are you holding up?" Carlisle asks quietly. Renée and Esme have gone down to the cafeteria to get some coffee before they all head back home.
I swallow thickly, knowing I can't hide anything from him. "Barely by the tips of my fingernails. I started to have a panic attack once they moved me from ICU. I haven't had a lot of time to process everything, you know? It just all kind of hit me at once."
"It's going to take some time, Edward. Don't push it. What happened to you was scary as hell. I'd be worried if you didn't freak out. Just take some time to recover and we'll talk when you get home, okay?" He stares at me intently and waits for me to nod my head.
I have so many feelings coursing through me I can barely even differentiate between them. Guilt for what Bella and Peyton had to go through, relief that I'm going to be okay. Gratitude to Jasper, Emmett, and Charlie for saving me, anger at myself for being so careless in the first place.
"We'll get you through this, Edward. I promise," he tells me fervently.
Another round of hugs and kisses and promises to return the next day from Charlie, Renée, Esme, and Carlisle and then they leave. Rose walks forward as Bella says goodbye to her parents and whispers, "Alice and I are going to take Bella outside for a few minutes and let her get some fresh air. You can talk to Em and Jasper without an audience."
I'm touched by her thoughtfulness and reach out and grab her hand. "Thanks for everything you've done, Rose. I don't know what we'd do without you."
She leans over and kisses my cheek. "You're one of us, Edward. It's what we do, and besides, we all love you. Now that we've got you, we're not letting you go, not even when you find yourself in the middle of the Atlantic." She winks as she stands up then smiles at Bella as she walks up.
"I'll be back in a few minutes. Will you be okay while I'm gone? Do you need anything?"
I reach for her, slipping my arm around her waist so I can pull her right next to me. My hand cups her ass and I nuzzle her stomach with my nose. Desire to touch her, to kiss her, flares hot and rampant and I groan when she runs her fingers through my hair. I feel gross and grimy, and I'm sure my hair feels dirty, but I won't tell her to stop touching me. I need it. I need to feel her.
She bends over and says quietly, "I know Em and Jas want to talk to you for a few minutes, so let me get out of here so they can say what they need to say and then we'll see about getting you cleaned up and into some clean clothes, okay?"
"Okay. Don't be gone long though," I tell her softly. I want to ask her not to leave at all, but I know I need to talk to the guys.
"It'll be okay, Edward. If it gets to be too much, just tell them. I'm sure they'll understand. They really just want to make sure you're okay, that's all." She presses her lips to mine and kisses me deeply, taking my breath away. "I love you. I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Love you, too," I murmur and squeeze her one more time before letting her go.
When the girls leave it's awkward for about thirty seconds until Emmett, in typical Emmett fashion, says, "Thanks for making it so we have the day off, man."
"Jesus, Emmett. You're such an ass." Jasper chuckles and shakes his head at Emmett.
"What? I know you don't want to be out there any more than I do. Eddie's going to be just fine and we get a day off. Win-win if you ask me," he says with a shrug of his shoulders.
He sits down in the chair beside the bed and twists his mouth for a few seconds before he looks at me. "I'm only going to say this one time because getting all emotional and shit is for the birds and ruins my reputation, but I'm really glad you're okay, Edward."
I smirk at him but I can tell by the way his eyes bore into mine how big of a toll what happened has had on him. The shadows that flash across his face hit me right in the gut. I have so much I want to tell him, but no words come out.
"And, I'm really glad those roping lessons I took back in Texas were good for something," Jasper tells me. His ice blue eyes blaze brightly and the same unspoken words pass between us and between me and Emmett.
Don't ever scare us like that again.
We almost lost you.
I'll kick your ass if you ever let it happen again.
I love you.
Emmett clears his throat once the silence in the room becomes uncomfortable and we make small talk for a few minutes. Jasper tells me that he'll take care of getting my bike over to Bella's and Emmett tells me he'll bring me my iPod when he comes back later on.
"We should probably head back so you can get some rest," Emmett says as he stands up. I feel him press something into my hand and gasp when I look at what it is. He nods silently at me and I'm so overcome I begin to shake.
"Thank you, both of you," I manage to choke out, looking them both in the eye so they can see the sincerity of my words. It's all I can say and I hope it's enough.
"You'd do the same for us," Jasper states simply then bends down and kisses the top of my head. "Get some rest; we'll be back later."
Emmett reaches down and covers my hand with his, squeezing once before he turns around and walks out of the door without looking back.
When the door shuts, I lay my fist over my heart, and close my eyes, thinking, once again, how close I came to losing it all.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~~
The next morning drags on and on and fucking on. I'm still sore as hell but I refuse all but the mildest of pain killers. I pulled Carlisle to the side when he checked on me yesterday afternoon and made sure the meds they were giving me wouldn't fuck me up or cause any lasting side effects. I'm still subject to random drug tests and it would be just my damned luck to fail one due to something I was prescribed. He assured me that both he and Wayne have been in touch with my PO and informed him of what had happened. As far as the Maine penal system is concerned, I'm still all good. It's a huge fucking relief to know that both Wayne and Carlisle have my back; one less thing to worry about.
Bella stays with me through the slop the hospital has the nerve to call lunch and then leaves so she can pick up Peyton from school and bring her back to see me.
"You look nervous," the nurse comments cheerily later in the afternoon as she checks my vitals.
I hold my arm out so she can wrap the infernal blood pressure cuff around my arm. My muscles still ache and by the time she's done, my arm limply falls down beside my leg. "I am," I tell her. She fills in the chart and then drops it into the slot at the end of my bed. "I'm about to have a visitor and I'm worried about what her reaction is going to be." I nervously run a hand through my hair, not thinking of the bandage that still covers half of my forehead.
"Well it can't be your girlfriend because she's hardly left your side since you got here yesterday," she teases, and raises her eyebrow for an answer.
My heart stutter steps because I instantly think about Bella, and then smile at the nurse. "It's actually her daughter that's coming. Her name is Peyton. She's seven and the most amazing kid." I shake my head, at a complete loss for words because amazing doesn't even come close to describing Peyton.
"You love them both very much," she observes.
I nod, unable to answer and try to swallow past the golf ball-sized lump that's suddenly taken up residence in my throat.
She smiles fondly at me and then moves to change the bandage on my head. We're making small talk and I hear the door open and groan because I'm tired of tests.
"Hey, what are you doing to my best friend?" demands the sweetest voice and the one that never fails to bring me to my knees.
The nurse chuckles as she holds some gauze in her hand. "Well, you must be the infamous Miss Peyton," she says with a smile and holds her hand out and waits for Peyton to shake it. "My name is Katie and I'm Edward's nurse for the day. I was just changing his bandage. Did you want to help me?"
Of course, Peyton squeals and then climbs up on a chair. "Hi, Edward." She grins and I can't help but smile back.
"Hi, Sprite. Gimme a kiss," I tell her and tilt my cheek up to her so she can kiss me. I turn my head and glance at her when she doesn't kiss me right away. Her little chin quivers when she sees the wound on my head up close. "I'm okay, sweetheart, I promise. Now kiss me. I've missed you so much." I look at her, falling completely spellbound to her beautiful slate blue eyes.
She places the softest kiss on my cheek and when she does, I'm surrounded by her typical coconut-lime scent. My heart swells, threatening to burst right out of my chest when she places an even gentler kiss to my forehead.
"I missed you," she whispers, her voice barely louder than a breath.
I can feel the burn of unshed tears in my eyes and I squeeze them tightly shut, hoping to keep them from spilling out. I know if I start crying, there's a very good chance I won't ever stop.
I watch in awe and Katie shows Peyton exactly how to change my bandage and I can't help but beam with pride at how smart she is when she does it all by herself.
"Well, Edward, I can see you are going to be in very capable hands when you get out of here," Katie says, sounding somewhat shocked herself.
"I'm going to take really good care of him," Peyton tells her, patting me on the head at the same time. "Mom says he's coming home with us, so I'll be able to keep a real close eye on him. Don't worry, I'm his best friend, I'll make sure he's just fine."
I'm in shock about the going home with them comment but figure that is a discussion for me and Bella to have outside of little ears. "Where is your mom?" I ask her, looking toward the door.
Peyton shrugs her little shoulders before she plops right down beside me on the bed. Her eyes are studying me, roving over every inch of my body. I feel like I'm being dissected, and I try not to cringe. I know she's just trying to convince herself that I'm really okay and if being stared at like I'm under a microscope is what she needs, I'll gladly do it for her.
I've done enough damage to the both of them already.
"You're really okay?" Her voice trembles as she speaks and her eyes dart all over the place.
I won't lie to her so I tell her, "I'm still really sore all over and my head hurts. It's kind of hard for me to stay awake for a long time and I get tired really easy still, but I'm doing much better, P. I'm really sorry I scared you." I reach out and take her tiny hands in mine and run my thumbs back and forth across the backs of them.
"When Mom told me what happened, I was scared I'd never get to see you again." Her words break my heart and once more I question how I can ever go back on the water.
"I promised you and your mom I'd come back." It's all I can think to tell her. I know she's smart enough to figure out that things don't always go the way you want them to. She's always known how Evan died and Bella has never shied away from the realities of Charlie and Emmett working on the water.
Peyton doesn't say anything for a few minutes. Instead, she keeps her head down and stares at our hands. I don't push. I know she needs time to process. She's like her mom that way.
She lets out a huge sigh, one that lifts her shoulders as high as they can go before she lets them drop. "I really thought my good luck charms would keep you safe," she says quietly as she lifts her head and looks directly at me. "Maybe if I would have given you something else, you wouldn't have gotten hurt." The words spill out, broken and between her taking big gulps of air as tears spill down her flushed cheeks.
"Oh, sweetheart." I groan and pull her onto my lap. I ignore the protests of every muscle in my body and wrap my arms around her. We rock back and forth for a few minutes as I whisper nonsense words against the top of her head. She buries her nose into my chest and just like Bella does, she twists my t-shirt in her little hands so tightly I worry her fingers will permanently stay that way. I get tired holding her while we sit up so I lean us both back on the pillow. She scoots up so our noses are almost touching and I watch her as she tries to catch her breath. I lift a hand and push her hair back off her face, and then lean forward to give her a kiss on her forehead. She still doesn't say anything and I can't help but shiver when I feel the tip of her finger trace over the ink on my arm.
I feel something dig into the side of the leg and slip my hand inside the pocket of the sweats Alice and Rose brought for me. I curl my fingers around the offending item and take it out. Smiling softly I lift it between me and Peyton and hold my hand out so she can see it. "You're wrong, P. Your good luck charm did work," I tell her and show her the shell that rests on the palm of my hand. I look at it, overwhelmed again as I remember Emmett giving it back to me yesterday with tears in his eyes. I'll never forget how he closed my fingers around it and then held my closed fist in his huge hand. No words were spoken, none were needed, but from that moment on, Emmett became my brother in every sense of the word.
Her steel blue eyes widen and more tears fall down her face, dripping off the end of her nose since our heads are sideways. "You still have it?" she asks, her voice reverent. She moves her fingers from my arm to the shell and she touches it as if she can't really believe what she's seeing. "It worked," she breathes out. She smiles at me and her eyes and voice are full of wonder.
"It sure did," I answer, forcing the words past the tightness of emotion in my throat.
She giggles and suddenly everything seems okay again.
"Mmmm hmmm," I hear a throat clear from the doorway and look up to find Bella leaning against the wall. Her eyes are glassy but her smile is radiant and genuine. "Is there room for me in that bed?" she asks and walks up beside us.
"Always." I stare at her for a moment or two before I scoot over. My ass hangs off the edge of the tiny bed and Peyton is almost all the way on top of me, but I don't care. Having my two girls next to me is all I need in the world.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
Two days later, and I'm discharged from the hospital. The ride home seems to take forever, but I'm still sore and a bit weak so I give in to the temptation to close my eyes. My stomach flutters right before I nod off as I think about staying with Bella and Peyton through the holidays.
"Babe, we're home," Bella nudges quietly. I feel her fingers dance along the side of my cheek and I can't help but turn my head and press a light kiss to her palm. The simple action shoots a white hot current of need straight to my dick though. It's been way too long since I've been inside of her, since I've felt her come apart, since I've tasted her and a shudder runs through my body as I imagine doing it again ... soon.
I move slowly as I get out of the car but standing on my own two legs in the brisk air with the sun shining down on me feels pretty much like heaven. I take a deep breath of the crisp air, letting it fill my lungs and then let it out. I stretch my arms out and then let out a small groan when Bella bends over into the backseat of Renée's Jeep to grab my bag. Her ass looks fucking phenomenal in her jeans and the black boots she's wearing make her legs look long and lean and I want to feel them wrapped around me as soon as fucking possible.
She walks in front of me, through the door, and immediately a sense of home swamps me once we make it inside.
I see the Christmas tree in the corner by the fireplace, see my stocking hanging between Bella's and Peyton's … I even see my tennis shoes at the foot of the stairs. I don't live here, but standing in the living room after not having been here for almost two weeks makes me realize I want to.
I want to a whole fucking lot.
My whole body tingles as that thought spreads and the ache I've felt ever since I woke up and saw her tear-stained face flares.
I need her, right fucking now.
My eyes follow her every movement. She steps toward the stairs and drops my bag on the floor. There are a few strands of hair that have fallen out of her ponytail and they float beside her face, curling and laying against her flushed cheek. She blows out a breath, and then scrunches her nose adorably when the strands fall right back in her eyes.
She's fucking beautiful.
With three long strides, I'm close enough to reach out and grab her hand. When I wrap my fingers around her wrist and then turn her around to face me, her eyes are wide and her mouth is open in a perfect 'o' shape. Before the question that's on the tip of her tongue has a chance to be uttered, I crash my lips against hers. She's stiff in my arms for about three seconds, the amount of time it takes for my tongue to plunge inside of her mouth and for my hands to cup her delectable ass.
"Fuck, Bella. I want you so damn bad," I murmur as my lips slide from her mouth to her neck.
Her fingers knead at my back, then climb up to my shoulders where her hands hold on for dear life. She presses her chest firmly against mine and when I feel her wiggle her leg until her knee brushes against my hardening dick, I moan and dig my fingers into her ass even harder.
"Edward, oh God. I've missed you, missed this." She kisses up and down my jaw and when she gets to my Adam's apple and I feel her teeth bite down, I hiss.
"Need you, fuck I need you, baby," I mumble against the sensitive, delicious skin of her neck. My hands slide from her ass to her hips and then dip beneath her tight, soft, pale pink sweater. "I love this sweater; it looks so fucking good on you," I tell her as my hands travel over her taut stomach. I let my fingers circle her belly button until I can't take it any more and I move up her body until each of my hands cups a full, firm breast. "Christ," I breathe out as I feel her nipples pebble as I brush my thumbs over them.
"You definitely need to wear pink more often," I whisper when my lips find hers again. I pinch and pull ... roll and tweak, eliciting the hottest fucking whimpers and moans from her.
"Edward," she breathes out as she pulls her mouth away from mine. Her hands are in my hair. She drags her nails along my scalp and it makes me shiver and makes my dick even harder. I pull her closer to me and search for the friction I need to ease some of the ache that's beginning to throb from between my legs. "More touching, less talking," she orders.
I comply. I use my lips and my tongue and my fingers to tell her all the things I can't possibly put into words. Having her in my arms again, feeling her heart beat against mine, hearing her sexy as hell groans and squeaks when I touch her in just the right way sets my heart flying in a way that takes me by surprise every time.
In no time, I have her sweater pushed up her body and over her head. With a quick pout, I watch it fall to the floor in a fluffy pink pile. I sure as hell hope she wears it again soon; it really looks amazing on her. As soon as I see inches and inches of creamy, pale skin, flushed with a pink reminiscent of the sweater on the floor, all I can think about is touching her everywhere.
She throws her head back, stretching in my arms when I trail my tongue up her pink-tinted chest. My fingers press into her back and I hope that I don't leave any marks. When I suck a hardened nipple through the thin lace of her bra, the sound she makes goes straight to aching cock.
"Feel good?" I ask totally unnecessarily.
"What did I say about more touching and less talking?" she saucily asks with a quirk of her eyebrow. Her eyes are molten fire, blazing bright and with so much desire it makes my heart hammer in my chest.
I'm nothing if not good at following directions, so I move from one nipple to the other. I nibble and lick that one through the lace as well. Once I pay it the proper amount of attention, I'm ready to feel and see all of her. I slide my hands up her back and undo her bra, licking my bottom lip when it falls from her arms.
"Fuck, you're even more gorgeous than I remember," I utter, transfixed by the way her deep breaths make her perfect breasts lift and then gently fall. I can't help but immediately wrap my lips around her nipple now that there's nothing between it and my mouth. I moan when I taste her fully. I'm sure my eyes have rolled back in my head. My body is on fire, every part of me is electrified. My dick feels like it's going to explode through my jeans and my hands shake as I touch her everywhere.
With my hands splayed across her naked back, I bring her closer to me. My mouth fuses with hers, and I dip my tongue deep in her mouth. Once, twice, then a third time, letting her taste fill my mouth. I grip her hip. My thumb finds her hip bone, which is a bit more prominent than it was two weeks ago. The thought whips me through the lust-filled fog and I stare intently into her eyes. "Oh, Bella," I whisper. I brush my lips against hers, gently now that I've calmed down a bit. I still want her. My dick is still throbbing between my legs and I really want nothing more than to rip her jeans off her legs, throw her down on the ground and fuck into next week, but I need to make sure she's okay.
She opens her eyes wide, the beautiful brown I normally see now almost black. "I'm fine, Edward. I just need you. God, please. I need you so much." She twists her hands in my t-shirt and pulls me against her. Her mouth finds mine again, kissing me so hard it hurts. "I need you, Edward. Please," she begs again.
I can't resist. I don't even try. I know we need to talk, but we need this even more. The need to feel each other, to take and give, to reconnect after everything that's happened. She needs to know I'm okay, that I'm here, and I need to show her that she means more to me than anything. That it was her that kept me alive, that it was Charlie saying her name that gave me the strength to fight.
My fingers fumble with the button on her jeans and she mimics my movements. As soon as I have her jeans undone, my hand dives inside and I cup her pussy. She scorches my palm and it's the best fucking feeling ever. Her hand once again copies mine and she shoves it inside of my jeans and wraps her fingers around my cock. I'm so hard it hurts but when she begins to pump me slowly, the pain morphs to pleasure.
I move my hand from between her legs up over her stomach and cover her breasts with my hands. I lean forward and kiss her again. I can't get enough of her, of her taste, of the way her tongue feels against mine, of the way she growls in the back of her throat when I roll her pebbled nipples between my fingers.
"I need to be inside you," I whisper in a rough voice. I rock my hips forward, urging her to move her hand faster.
I walk backward toward the couch and when the backs of my knees hit the edge of the sofa, she pushes my jeans down over my hips. I hate to move my hands from her breasts, but I need her naked and I need to bury my cock so deep inside of her we can't tell where I begin and she ends. I want no space between us. I want her entire body pressed against mine and I don't ever want to let go.
Once she steps out of her jeans and she kicks them out of the way she places her palms on my chest and pushes me backward. She straddles my lap, my cock hard and pulsing between us. I plunge my fingers in her hair and wrap her silky strands around them. I pull her head to the side and lick her in one smooth motion from her collarbone all the way up to the spot behind her ear that always makes her squirm.
"Christ, I've missed the way you taste." I flick my tongue at the silver ball in the top of her ear and then suck it into my mouth.
She rocks back and forth on my lap, brushing her hard nipples against my chest. Her nails score my skin and I hiss, not in pain but in erotic pleasure.
"Do you feel how hard I am, baby?" I ask as I scrape my teeth down her neck and keep going until I reach her breast. "I'm going to bury myself so deep inside of you, it'll take hours to find my way back out." I kiss her hard again, exploring every part of her mouth with my tongue. My fingers dig into the flesh of her ass so hard I'm sure there will be bruises tomorrow.
"I think you have that backward, babe," Bella murmurs in a sexy as fuck whisper. "I'm," she begins and then flicks her tongue at my nipple, "going to fuck you." She bites down and the flattens her tongue against me. I hiss and grip her hips, circling mine beneath her. The head of my dick rubs against her clit which makes her throw her head back. The ends of her hair brush the tops of my thighs and her perfect tits bounce in front of my face as she rolls her hips.
"Then fuck me, Bella. Please," I beg shamelessly.
She snaps her head back up and looks deep into my eyes. She bites her bottom lip and my chest rumbles.
"You know what it does to me when you do that," I warn her, tilting my hips up.
Smirking, she nods her head. She reaches between us and wraps her fingers around me again. Her thumb swipes at the bead of liquid that seeps from the end of my cock and then spreads it over my shaft. With her eyes locked on mine, she lifts her body then lowers herself so slowly onto me that my eyes roll back in my head.
"Oh, fuck." I hiss when I'm totally sheathed inside of her. "So good, you feel so fucking good."
"Mmmm, Edward," Bella moans. She swivels her hips and then her pussy clenches my cock.
I almost come right then it feels so damn good.
I thrust up as she moves down. She curls her fingers against my chest, and her nails dig into my skin. It stings, but I don't care. "That's my girl, fuck me," I grunt. One of my hands pulls on her hair; the other is splayed across her back.
We move together, up and down. I kiss and suck. She scratches and bites. We're totally lost in the moment, reconnecting in the most primal of ways. My heart beats wildly in my chest and the muscles in my legs burn from exertion, but I don't stop. I can't.
She rides me, taking me deep inside then sliding back up before she slams right back down. Over and over and over again. She leans forward, then stretches away from me, bowing her back. Her hair sways, her fingers grip my thighs, and her hips never stop moving. She plays my body expertly, pushing me to my limit but never over the edge.
"Oh, God, Edward. Mmm … You feel so good inside of me. I love feeling you this way, so deep, so full." She moans as she flips her head forward again.
I wrap my arms around her and say, "Kiss me."
Her lips instantly are on mine and our bodies glide against each other. She whimpers into my mouth and I swallow the sound. I'm so close. My dick throbs inside of her and my balls tighten. I lower a hand between us and rub her swollen clit with my finger.
"Ah, yes … oh, fuck yes," she groans and I circle faster.
"I love watching you ride me, baby. You're so fucking gorgeous, fucking me, taking me. Come, Bella. Fucking come for me. I need to see you come."
She lifts her eyes to mine and I can tell it's taking a lot of effort to keep them open. "Good girl, eyes on me. You're close. I can feel your pussy pulsating all around my dick."
"More, Edward. Faster," she orders and rolls her hips against my fingers.
I do as she asks and circle faster, pinching and pressing as I go. Her legs shake and her thighs squeeze me tightly. She tugs on my hair and when she lifts up on her knees, I take a nipple into my mouth and swirl my tongue around it. Simultaneously I bite down on it, I press hard on her clit with my thumb, and I thrust deep inside of her.
She immediately falls apart, screaming out my name and a rush of other words that make no sense. Her chest is flushed pink and I lick a bead of sweat that falls between her breasts.
"God, oh yes." She pants, never even breaking the delicious rhythm she's set.
"Close, ah fuck I'm so close. I'm going to come so hard inside of you," I warn her.
"Do it. Now," she orders and I explode, coming so hard I grit my teeth and hiss.
It takes a few moments to come down from the high of our release and when we do, she melts against my chest. She makes no attempt to move, which is just fine with me. Eventually, I feel her shiver and reluctantly, I shift her off my lap.
"Come on. Let's go take a shower and then cuddle in bed before Mom brings Peyton home," she tells me once she stands up. She holds her hand out and when I take it, she pulls me up.
"Ugh, how about a bath instead? I'm fucking sore. You wore me right out, baby." I smirk at her. That quickly turns into a moan of appreciation as I follow her up the stairs, her ass shaking right in my face. I'm exhausted and every part of my body aches, but my cock aches in the best way.
As soon as we hit the top of the stairs, I sweep her up in my arms and whisper, "The bath can wait. I seem to have caught my second wind."
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
"Dude, I can not believe Bella is letting you do this." Emmett chuckles and turns to look at me as soon as I close the door to his Jeep.
"No shit." Jasper laughs. He slaps me on the shoulder and then leans forward between us. "The guy almost dies and he's got Bella eating out of the palm of his hand."
I roll my eyes at them both then flip them off for good measure. "I'm just too irresistible and you two sorry sacks of shit are just jealous you can't get your women to let you do the same thing," I say cockily and grin happily when they both scowl at me and mutter "asshole" under their breath. They'd like to disagree with me, I know they would, but too bad for them they can't.
"Seriously, man. Did you just ask my sister or did you have to promise her all kinds of shit to get her to agree?" I don't say anything and wait for him to look in my direction. When he does, I give him a sly smirk and shrug my shoulder at him.
He cringes and shakes his head. "Awww, damn, Ed. That's my baby sister you're promising sexual favors for. I don't need to know that!" He groans.
Jasper is laughing his ass off in the backseat because I haven't even said a word. Emmett's just run off on a tangent and I let him go. When Emmett realizes neither Jasper nor I are saying anything he looks back and forth between the two of us and narrows his eyes. "Jackasses," he mutters.
I slap him on the shoulder and grin. "You're so easy sometimes, man. And for your information, Bella thought it was a great idea when I asked. I just wanted to do something for Peyton to show her how much I love her," I tell them quietly, the mood changing in the car quickly from light to heavy. I sigh. "It's been a hell of a few weeks, you know; I'm just ready for things to be back to normal."
"How's P handling everything?" Emmett asks seriously and Jasper leans forward.
I run a hand through my hair and look out the window for a moment while I take a deep breath. "She seems to be fine, but I don't know, Em, she watches me all the time, like she's afraid I'm going to disappear right in front of her or something. She still laughs and she's still as bossy as ever, but every now and then she just looks so sad. It kills me," I answer and look from him to Jasper.
"Well, man, she adores you so much and what happened was scary as fuck," Emmett answers and then shivers. I notice his hands grip the steering wheel, holding on to it so tightly his knuckles turn white. "P's heard the stories about Evan, Edward, and she's so smart. No matter how little you and Bella or hell any of us tell her, or how much it's sugar-coated, Peyton knows how close we came to losing you."
I look out of the window for a minute then sigh as I face him. "I know. I just hate seeing my little thing so scared. Peyton's not ever afraid of anything. I suppose it will just take time."
"She's a strong little girl, Edward," Jasper reassures as he places his hand on my shoulder. "She'll be fine, you'll see."
"I hope so."
We don't say much the rest of the ride but as we get closer to Ellsworth, I get more excited. I can't wait to see Peyton's face tomorrow when I give her her Christmas present. I think it will be just what she needs to be back to the Peyton I know and love beyond measure.
"You're bouncing up and down in your seat, Eddie. Excited much?" Emmett grins at me.
I shrug my shoulders. "I never had a dog and I always wanted one. I'm fucking excited, sue me."
"Do you think P will let me puppy sit?" Jasper asks a bit wistfully as he taps his fingers against the kennel on the backseat beside him.
"I don't think anyone but Edward will get within an arm's length of it once she gets it tomorrow. Enjoy it tonight, Jas. It'll be the last time you see it," Emmett taunts, but he looks a bit sad at the realization he won't get to play with the puppy either.
We pull up to the house where the owner of the litter of puppies lives. I had mentioned to Seth and Aggie one afternoon a week ago at The Breakers about wanting to buy Peyton a puppy for Christmas and Aggie mentioned that a friend of hers had a dog that had puppies six weeks ago and were for sale. She had her friend email me a picture and once I saw its adorable little face, I was a goner.
Bella tried to pretend she wasn't excited, but I caught her yesterday putting some puppy treats away in the pantry where Peyton wouldn't find them. When she turned around and saw me standing there all she did was huff and roll her eyes at me. Of course I got an elbow in the stomach when I laughed at her.
The three of us get out of the car and carry the kennel to the front door.
I introduce myself to Aggie's friend, Lisa, and she tells me to follow her through the house to the back room where all the puppies are.
While I'm being introduced to the Mama dog and given the papers showing the puppy has been neutered and given its shots, Emmett and Jasper are in puppy heaven. I have a feeling Peyton's puppy is going to have little playmates soon. Like maybe by the end of the day tomorrow.
"Dude, you are totally going to win the best present award tomorrow," Emmett tells me once we get back in the car and head for home.
I look on the seat beside me and stick the tip of my finger through the side of the kennel and rub the little guy's nose. "You bet your ass I am," I tell him happily.
As we drive home, I can't help but feel like adding a puppy to our happy trio is only the beginning.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
